In the Scream Queens recap, Chanel and her sisters call on the spirit of Chanel No. 2 for answers while Pete and Grace believe they’ve found the Red Devil killer…
By Damon Martin — Editor/Lead Writer
Well Chanel No. 2 has been dead since the first episode of Scream Queens debuted but only now is she finally being laid to rest. Technically, she’s been cremated and shot into space because only Chanel No. 1 was friend enough to follow the dead bitch’s final request.
The work of a Kappa co-president is never done!
But Chanel No. 2 being dead didn’t stop her from having a huge impact on the latest episode as the rest of the Chanels call on her from a Ouija board looking for answers to a myriad of questions.
Elsewhere, Gigi talks to her co-conspirators giving further evidence on who she might be in cahoots with while Grace and Pete zero in on Dean Munsch for the murder of her ex-husband, which may very well land her a conviction as the real Red Devil killer on the Wallace University campus!
With that said, let’s recap the latest episode of Scream Queens titled ‘Beware of Young Girls’…
From Beyond the Grave
Following a very sentimental funeral for Chanel No. 2 — that included a heartfelt eulogy from her good friend and co-president Chanel No. 1 as well as Chanel No. 3 admitting to stealing her clothes while Chad Radwell confessed that he really did miss banging her hot body — the Chanels retire back to the Kappa house but all is not well under their roof.
Chanel No. 1 is lamenting her current status with all the dead people popping up and no answers as to who the real killer might be, but finally someone has an idea that might just work — they can use a Ouija board to contact Chanel No. 2 from beyond the grave and ask who killed her so they can finally have some answers.
But upon contacting her, Chanel No. 2 only confirms that Chanel No. 5’s vagina actually does have teeth while she also tells Chanel No. 1 that Chad is cheating on her — again.
Chanel is so enraged by this news that she storms over to the Dickie Dollar Scholar house to confront her lying, cheating boyfriend and her worst nightmares are confirmed when she finds him in bed with a goat.
A goat?
Well, it seems Chad has an excuse for this one. You see he’s lactose intolerant and nothing is worse than passing a Baskin Robbins and knowing that just one bite of that delectable ice cream will send him farting down the street like some crazed candle collector put Chad in an impossible situation. Thankfully, Chad did his homework and discovered that goat milk has no lactose and so he sits with his new pet Remi and massages her belly for 8 to 10 minutes until she gives up to two liters of the good protein his body needs to stay ripped and ready.
Chanel is so devastated that she doubted her boyfriend but she still needs answers and only Chanel No. 2 can give them. So the girls go back to the Ouija board and first confirm that this is actually Chanel No. 2 thanks to an ultra hard quiz that included the total number of tampons in Hester’s purse but once they get confirmation Chanel No. 1 only wants to know one thing — who is the killer?
The cursor moves and spells out YOU — the killer is Chanel No. 1!
Of course she denies all of this madness, but the other girls aren’t so sure. Chanel No. 1 has been around or been involved in a lot debauchery lately so maybe it’s time she goes. The rest of the Chanels decide that it’s time for revenge — Chanel No. 1 must die!
Cops Finger Dean Munsch
Grace takes Gigi on a shopping trip to get her clothes that don’t look like they came out of an episode of Beverly Hills 90210 while the two girls bond in an almost mother-daughter moment. Gigi knows that Grace is investigating the murders so she helps her out with a little bit of information — she should look into a former sister named Feather McCarthy, who was a member of Kappa Kappa Tau until she left school amidst a major dustup with Dean Munsch.
Gigi isn’t pointing Grace towards the Red Devil Killer, but she’s certainly getting the investigation moved towards the Dean.
Grace and Pete track down Feather and she tells them a woeful tale about her first encounter with the Dean while she was still enrolled at Wallace University.
It seems Feather fell in love (or at least lust) with her Beatles 101 professor who happened to be Dr. Steven Munsch — the Dean’s husband. Well after a torrid love affair with sex at least once or twice a week — he was 50 after all so he couldn’t quite keep up — Feather and Dr. Munsch decided to confess their affair to the Dean.
When she found out, Dean Munsch went mad and threw her husband out of her house and he ended up living at the Kappa house instead. Meanwhile, Feather started seeing Dean Munsch pop up wherever she was at dressed in the exact same clothes like a scene out of Single White Female.
Eventually, the divorce was settled and Dr. Munsch and Feather moved into the house he previously owned with his wife, but one night while she was taking a bat and listening to one of those iPod things that picks up music over the airwaves, someone pushed it into her water trying to electrocute her. Feather never found proof, but she believes deep down inside that it was Dean Munsch and now she’s finally willing to go on the record to tell her story.
Unfortunately when Feather returns home, she finds bloody arrows disguised as ketchup all leading to the upstairs with body parts lining the hallway and stairwell before she eventually stumbles upon Steven’s severed head at the bottom of a fish tank! Feather is horrified and at this point the cops can no longer ignore the obvious — Dean Munsch is the killer!
The cops arrest her but just as Grace and Pete are ready for a long awaited make out session while celebrating their big breaking news story with the headline ‘Cops Finger Dean Munsch’, she gets a call from the Dean herself, locked away in a sanitarium ready to tell them a story about who really killed her husband.
When they arrive, Dean Munsch offers a deal — the two sleuthing junior detectives can look into Feather as the possible murderer and in exchange she’ll give up the information on the night she covered up the murders at Kappa house. On the way out, Dean Munsch ever the diva demands a better lunch when the staff at the crazy house tried to serve her processed meat like bologna when that will clearly make her sick. How dare they!
Grace and Pete dig through the crime scene and photos and discover a half eaten sandwich left by the killer and when they discover it’s bologna — the same meat that makes Dean Munsch toss her cookies — so right away they realize she can’t be the killer! Grace and Pete instead run a DNA test on the sandwich and a toothbrush belonging to Feather and sure enough it’s an exact match.
Feather gets locked away for the murder of her lover and Dean Munsch gets set free and promises to give Grace all the information she wants — in one week once things have settled down at her office.
Back at home, Dean Munsch goes through the motions to reveal that she was the person who killed her husband all along. The way she figured it with all these killings happening on campus, what a great time to seek revenge and pin it on a bitch that she hates. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. That said, Gigi put Grace on her trail in the first place with the mention of Feather McCarthy — so does that prove she’s working with the Dean or was the Dean just too smart to get caught?
Sugar Party
Following the revelation from Chanel No. 2 that Chanel No. 1 is the killer, the rest of the girls plot a course to murder her before she can murder anyone else. They try to plan a sugar party — you know where you sit around and eat a bowl of sugar — and the idea is to grind down diamonds so when Chanel eats them, the jagged little shards will slit her throat from the inside out.
They get an even better opportunity, however, when Chanel No. 1 takes some medicine to calm her stomach that also puts her to sleep. So the girls will just bash her head in once she’s out like a light. Simple enough right?
But Chanel drifts off and she’s visited by a hooker from the past aka Chanel No. 2. Her former rival tells her that she’s sorry for all the things she did while she was alive including the times she boned her boyfriend Chad, but after realizing just how awful hell really is, she wants to atone so she can gain entry into heaven.
The only way to do that is to right the wrongs she had on Earth, which were mostly done to Chanel No. 1. She tells the Kappa co-president that the girls are on their way to murder her and she should probably not let them.
Chanel No. 1 turns the tables on her ‘friends’ and before she can even provide proof, Chanel No. 3 cops to the whole plan as it all fizzles out and falls apart before it starts. Chanel No. 1 is so disappointed, but their heart was in the right place — they were just going after who they thought was the killer.
So Chanel No. 1 decides to let them back on her team as they will get together to go after the real killers — Grace and Zayday! Chanel No. 1 believes all the trouble for the house started after they showed up and they have to be the ones behind those evil Red Devil masks!
No. 1 Suspect This Week
Gigi held a conversation at the start of the episode that reinforces one of my earlier theories.
“I told you to get rid of him! We are not kidnappers. We are murderers hell bent on revenge. I told you this! That is our brand and if he’s messing with it, he has to go!”
We already assume Boone is one of the killers since he was fake murdered and then returned from the grave but the only person who was kidnapped this season was Zayday and who has a crush on Zayday?
Earl Grey!
Gigi, Boone and Earl Grey are the prime suspects as of right now but the reasoning behind their motives remains a mystery….for now.
Best Lines
“As soon as Chanel No. 2’s parents learned of their daughter’s dead body had been found they went on a cruise to celebrate. That’s how much they hated this dead bitch.”
Hester: “Didn’t you see the movie?”
Chanel: “The movie Ouija? No — no one did.”
“I like the borderline creepy way he looks out for you.”
“That guy deserves a girl who doesn’t dress like Brenda Walsh.”
“Why do you have nine tampons? How big is your cooch?”
“Dicks? You choked on dicks?”
“What if Chanel No. 2 is busy getting Eiffel Towered by Hitler and Satan?”
“I wanted what you had and I really needed my tube packed.”
“I was probably just in a bad mood because Adolf Hitler was motorboating my boobs.”
Soundtrack
“Norweigian Wood” by The Beatles
“Seul” by Stone
“That’s Life” by Shirley Bassey
“Beware of Young Girls” by Dory Previn
Tune into the next episode of Scream Queens next Tuesday night at 9pm ET on FOX and there’s only five weeks to go in the first season!
