In the Scream Queens recap, everyone has theories about who is the killer and Chanel spends Turkey day with the Radwells….
By Damon Martin — Editor/Lead Writer
In most parts of the United States, Thanksgiving is a time to gorge on food, deal with family you only see once or twice a year and then watch football or prepare for Black Friday sales. Let’s be honest, that’s really what it’s about right?
Well, Thanksgiving on Scream Queens is a whole other kind of animal.
A couple of the girls attempt to go home while finding out that family life for the rich and famous isn’t exactly the same as some of the more wholesome, less fortunate folks who actually enjoy their children. Others stick around to make it a Kappa Thanksgiving complete with murder accusations and a severed head!
And then there’s the Radwell family Thanksgiving — and that’s a story all to itself.
With that said, let’s recap the latest episode of Scream Queens titled ‘Thanksgiving’…
Radwells That End Well
This week’s episode opens with Chanel explaining to Chad how she can attend his family Thanksgiving in the Hamptons now that she pushed Chanel No. 6 aka Hester down the stairs to her untimely death. Of course the idea of killing for him only turns Chad on more and he’s so excited that he’s hoping for a threesome — him, Chanel and Hester’s dead body.
Well, Chanel shoots that idea down but does agree to take him to the body. But guess what? Hester’s body is no longer in the meat freezer and while it’s possible this place serves as a wormhole to another dimension, the more likely explanation is that the supposedly dead girl was never dead in the first place. It’s not like Chanel checked her pulse — what does she look like a registered nurse?!?
So Chanel ends up at Chad’s family Thanksgiving and if you thought he was obnoxious, his parents and brothers were 10 times worse. They are thankful for things like Eastern European porn and making money off the sweat of the backs of creative people, but most notably in the bunch is Bunny Radwell, who wants Chanel gone because she’s not good enough (or apparently rich enough) to date her son.
Things are only complicated further when out of nowhere Hester arrives and proclaims that she’s having Chad’s baby!
It seems Chanel pushing her down the stairs ended up helping her out because the neck brace protected her from dying and the freezer ended up curing her severe scoliosis. Now Hester has returned to reclaim what’s hers while Chad’s father is offering Chanel $50,000 to leave now and never comeback again.
It all culminates in the meanest game of Pictionary of all time as the Radwell family uses every word in the book to insult poor Hester before Chanel — yes, Chanel Oberlin — has finally had enough and she apologizes to her sister and then erupts on the entire Radwell bunch. She also tells Chad to shut it and that their relationship is officially over (for like the sixth time already this season).
Chanel and Hester both decide to leave Chad behind and focus on being good sorority sisters again because that’s what college is all about. Right?
I’ve Got a Theory
Back at Kappa house, Chanel No. 3 returns following a disastrous Thanksgiving with her own family that included frozen dinners and TV trays to find Dean Munsch in the kitchen cooking up Tiburion — the beloved turkey that was pardoned the night before and now will serve as dinner. Dean Munsch decided to use the Kappa kitchen because they have the nicest things and clearly no one is using the shit.
Chanel No. 3 decides to stick around for dinner as do Zayday and Grace, who opted out of a trip to Oakland in favor of staying in the house to make sure somebody is there through the holidays. Grace’s father Wes is trying to spend the holiday with his daughter, but she’s still angry at him over everything he lied about in regards to her mother.
Wes informs Grace that Gigi has disappeared and he really wants to spend time with her so he’s invited to join the party at Kappa house as well. Gigi isn’t actually missing of course, she’s staying in a posh hotel along with one of the Red Devil killers following Boone’s death a week ago. Gigi even orders up some room service and an electric carving knife to cut up a quail dinner, but something tells me she didn’t get to enjoy desert.
Once everyone arrives at the house, Dean Munsch is ready to start dinner — sans the turkey which takes an impossibly long time to cook (this is true) — but she wants to serve up a side dish of murder accusations because she believes she’s pegged the real killer.
Dean Munsch believes it’s Chanel No. 3!
Here are the facts:
- Chanel No. 3 is Charles Manson’s daughter and on the night when the Red Devil attacked Wes and Gigi, Dean Munsch saw her running upstairs in a panic, sweating bullets just after the killer ran away.
Chanel No. 3 debunks the second part of that theory by explaining that she has poop issues and only goes once a week in the downstairs bathroom and it’s a taxing experience, thus the sweat. Also if Charles Manson is her real father, then she can’t be the other twin born in the bathtub alongside Boone
From there the rest of the members of the house begin pointing fingers with more than a few interesting points raised along the way.
Chanel No. 3 decides the real killer is Dean Munsch!
Here are the facts:
- Dean Munsch was part of the cover up 20 years ago and she’s always hated Kappa house. When she wasn’t able to get rid of it before, she decides now is the best time to do it and that’s why she started knocking off sisters after raising the two psycho twins to do her dirty work. The smoking gun, according to Chanel No. 3, is the day she saw Dean Munsch eating a bologna sandwich just after she claimed she was allergic, which helped get her off the hook for the murder of her ex-husband
Before Dean Munsch can really defend herself, Wes has to point the finger at someone else as much as he hates to do it — his own daughter Grace!
Here are the facts:
- Grace visited Kappa house before her freshman year during stop at Wallace University and it fell during the exact same day when the former president was sprayed with acid instead of tanner. She was also the only pledge not buried up to her neck the night that Deaf Taylor Swift was murdered. Wes also caught Grace meeting with the Red Devil one night, but she says that was actually Pete dressed up in the costume because they planned on handing out fliers and people could see what the killer looked like. The third part involved revenge for Grace’s mother, who remains the true disgrace of Kappa house after helping to cover up the murder of a sister, which still stands as the darkest day in the sorority’s history. Grace wants to kill people to make this new tragedy earn the spotlight over what her mother did 20 years ago.
“I think you did find out who your mom was and that she was awful and responsible for Kappa’s greatest shame — the death of the girl in the bathtub. And you hated the fact that the face of Kappa’s evil was this woman you idolized. So you swore to come to Wallace and create and even bigger, even worse boogieman to represent Kappa — The Red Devil. Anything to redeem your beloved dead mother.”
~ Chanel No. 5
These all sound like good reasons but Pete shows up just in the nick of time to save his girlfriend but he’s not so kind to her father when he points the finger at Wes as the real Red Devil killer!
Here are the facts:
- Pete did some digging and found out that Wes was at a party at Kappa house years ago that took place in the hidden tunnels. The same tunnels that allowed the killer to move around and into the house even on lockdown. The real incriminating evidence, however, was a DNA test that Pete ran with Wes’ hair matched up against Boone. It turns out that Wes is actually the father of the two murderous twins who were born in Kappa that night 20 years ago and he didn’t know until now! Or did he?
So now we know that Wes had multiple children around the same time and at best Grace is the killer’s sibling — or is she the killer sibling?
Dinner is Served
For now everybody has decided to table their accusations before going to the police. Wes and Grace share a hug and declare to each other that they know neither one of them is the killer, but I’m not sure I buy it. Grace’s reason for murder seems awfully compelling now and she could absolutely be the sister we’ve been looking for this whole time.
Either way, Chanel and Hester also return from the Radwell disaster to join the Thanksgiving festivities. Of course, Chad also follows because he loves turkey and it takes him about eight seconds to get Chanel to come back to him (again).
Just in time, the turkey is ready as Hester sharpens a knife — because the electric carver is missing — and Zayday lights some candles — because she couldn’t find any matches in Jennifer’s (the candle vlogger) room but she did fight a lighter in the bathroom. Those two things sure do seem significant.
Finally the lid is lifted off the platter and everyone screams in horror as there is no turkey but instead sits Gigi’s severed head! It seems the sister with a grudge got fed up dealing with Gigi and her watchful eye and decided to cut her head off rather than deal with her anymore!
There are only two episodes to go and we will finally find out who is the other Red Devil killer!
PRIME SUSPECT
There were a lot of accusations thrown around this week and a few that made sense. The person at the top of the list has to be Grace because she is now confirmed as a sibling to the killer and the motive mentioned by Chanel No. 5 does hold water. That said, for now the arrow lands on Chanel No. 6 aka Hester. She was eliminated last week thanks to her apparent death but now that she’s back, she seems like the leading contender to me. She dropped a line about the sharp knife she was holding as cutting through flesh with ease after Gigi said something similar back in the hotel before she was dead.
BEST LINES:
“Fine, I’ll show you the body but not so you can have sex with it!”
“I understand that Thanksgiving is supposed to be about family and being together and thanking God that we were born rich in America and not Uganda or Venezuela or any of those other African countries.”
“I’m Thad Radwell and this year I’m so thankful for the lax indecency laws in Eastern Europe that inundate our internet with millions of hours of hardcore porn, which helps to just generally raise the bar and the stuff that chicks feel like they have to do now!”
“Ever since I was a little boy, I knew what God wanted me to do and that was make money off the backs of creative people.”
“The only thing that you’re carrying is water weight you bloated little tramp!”
“I always wait until everyone is asleep and then I sneak down to poop in the little powder room downstairs. That way, no one will disturb me. I usually wait a week or so between movements so it can be kind of an intense workout. I sweat a lot.”
“Gold digger! Not welcome! Unattractive short person! Pooh belly! Doesn’t belong here! Should have left hours ago! Neck brace whore!”
“Chad, your leathery excuse for a mother looks like an Ostrich hide clutch from last season that somehow learned to talk.”
“I mean it’s not out of the question. I was a bit of a man-slut back in the day and it was the 90’s so nobody wore condoms.”
“This one is definitely sharp enough to glide easily through roasted flesh.”
“Oh great it’s you two — you’re going to make fabulous dinner guests now that you found out that you fathered a bastard murderer whose your sibling.”
SOUNDTRACK
“Forever Young” by Alphaville
