In the latest American Horror Story: Freak Show recap, Elsa demands loyalty from her freak show folks or else and Dandy tries to shower the Tattler twins with his affection, but will they find a way to live him back?
By Damon Martin — Editor/Lead Writer
What do you get the woman who wants everything?
Elsa Mars might live in somewhat humble surroundings, but she’s not like all the other freaks that surround her each and everyday. She’s a star just waiting to be discovered and there’s no reason not to act the part of an entitled, spoiled celebrity right now to get a head start on her future as the host of the biggest variety show on television.
You see Elsa Mars is preparing for her TV debut thanks to a big time Hollywood agent promising her the world, so she has to get prepared to leave this sideshow life of tents and houses on wheels. To help her get ready, Elsa is even working on a second act for her show where she will strap willing volunteers to a wheel, spin them around and toss knives at them. It was part of her show years earlier, but now Elsa sees this as a trick built for television.
If only she could stop throwing at least one out of every three knives right into the gut of the dummy she currently has strapped to the wheel for practice.
Ethel is so happy for her queen to finally get the big stage she deserves to perform on, but hopes she sticks around long enough to bilk the crowds for a few more dollars considering the Tattler sitters bolted when Elsa took them dress shopping just a few days earlier (yeah, right). Ethel is excited to celebrate Elsa’s birthday because it might be her last one in the big tent with all of her freak show friends. Oh sure, Elsa has promised to bring them all to Hollywood to be a part of her show eventually, but to start she has to go at this adventure alone. In other words, don’t call Elsa — she’ll call you.
Before the latest episode of “American Horror Story: Freak Show” titled “Bullseye” is over, Elsa will get at least one member of her troop up on that perilous wheel before she freaks the fuck out about those disloyal sons of bitches questioning her about the twins leaving the show. How dare you question Elsa Mars? How dare they indeed.
It’s a Celebration, Bitches
There ain’t no party like a Elsa Mars party cause a Elsa Mars party requires groveling. Yes, this week marked the birthday of the head of the freak show, Elsa Mars, and like all queens she must have her court adorn her with presents and shower her with compliments to feel good about being another year older.
Elsa sits on an Iron Throne-esque chair while all of her subjects hand her gifts. She receives a big box that contains little Ma Petit wrapped in a snuggie so she can keep warm all night long. Does anyone else find it creepy that she just loves to cuddle with an adult person who just happens to be very little and tiny? Maybe it’s just me.
The problem is while Elsa is happy and laughing and enjoying all the presents she’s receiving, nobody else seems to be having a very good time. It seems the entire troop is bummed that the twins are gone and no one seems to know what happened to them. Elsa snaps and demands everyone stop bitching and have a good time. Like right now!
After the party ends, Elsa prepares for her next celebration with a little romp in the sack with Paul, the tattooed seal guy, who has his way with the freak show leader under the sheets without anybody else knowing what’s going on behind closed drapes. Elsa is so loving and kind to Paul — as a matter of fact she’s happy to continue on with their affair in Hollywood so long as he’s willing to act as her chauffeur whenever a REAL suitor comes along. If you look up condescending in the dictionary there’s a picture of Elsa Mars.
Paul has other plans far away from Hollywood and far away from Elsa as well. He’s been hooking up with Penny the candy striper girl ever since the opium-induced orgy from the debut episode. Except now he sneaks in her window at night, shares her bed, but refuses to make love because he really wants her to know him first. He’s hooking up with Elsa as a means to an end. He’s with Penny because he’s in love. Unfortunately, Penny’s father disapproves of her doing anything that requires her to leave the house. Oh the 1950’s.
No Ordinary Love
At the Mott residence, the new maid just isn’t as good as Dora, but hindsight is 20/20, I mean you did slit her throat after all! Gloria has a present for her son — a platter full of condoms! There’s been enough inbreeding in this family already and if Dandy is going to be banging the conjoined twins she bought for him an episode ago, he needs to use protection. Dandy scoffs at the notion! He loves these girls. They woke up the sleeping beast that is his heart and now he feels more alive than ever. All it took were four eyes on him at once and two hearts beating in unison for his touch for Dandy to subdue his murderous rage and instead dote on these two lovely young women.
He wouldn’t dare to take advantage of them in bed. He’s going to marry these girls!
So far so good when it comes to Dandy’s treatment of the Tattler sisters, but they are completely different in their opinions when it comes to Jupiter’s richest son. Bette is over the moon. Here’s this rich, handsome man who wants nothing more than to shower them with affection and live in the lap of luxury. Dot, on the other hand, sees him as a boring asshole and that’s really saying something considering she lived the first 30 years of her life as a shut-in (ha!). But Dandy presents something for Dot to take advantage of as well.
His money provides her with the financial means to have surgery to separate from her sister so she can pursue a relationship with Jimmy the Lobster boy. That’s all she really wants in this world, and when she reads about another pair of Siamese twins being separated, it’s all she can think about. Unfortunately, one of the twins from the surgery dies, but the other lives on a normal happy life. Can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, I suppose. Dot’s okay with Bette dying so long as she gets to be the one that lives.
Dandy heads off to the local drug story to get Bette and Dot presents to keep them satisfied. Only the finest brushes and hair bows for these two gals. While he’s there, Dandy runs into Paul, who is buying perfume for his lovely lady Penny. The two end up in an altercation as he starts peaking at Dandy’s buying habits and can’t help but notice that he’s picking up two of everything as if he has twins hidden somewhere inside his house.
When the proprietor of the shop comes up from the back with another brush for Dandy to buy, the spoiled brat insists that Paul was going for his wallet and he must be tossed from the shop. Of course the shop owner believes him, calls Paul a freak and a thief and tells him to get out. Poor Paul, all he wanted to do was buy some perfume for the love of his life and instead he gets treated like a third class citizen and tossed for no apparent reason.
After a quick trip to Woolworths to get the perfume and possibly some ice cream, Paul finally shares what he saw at the drug store with his pal Jimmy. Did Elsa give the twins over to Dandy Mott? It can’t be a coincidence after the first episode where the brat and his wealthy mother offered to buy them for an absurd amount of money. Would Elsa actually do that to one of her own? Nope — Jimmy won’t hear it. Elsa’s not just a queen. She’s their queen and there’s no way she’s sell them up the river.
Paul goes to see Elsa and she’s immediately infuriated with him because she can smell the perfume on him already. He’s screwing somebody else while she needs him to be her personal driver in a few months when she leaves this pop stand for Hollywood! Finally Paul snaps and tells Elsa off while also confronting her with the awful truth no one else has been brave enough to share — they believe she did something to the twins.
Oh, hell no.
Elsa flips her shit and demands everyone come into the tent and listen to her grand stand about all the things she’s done for them. She’s pulled these freaks out of police lineups and chain gangs. She helped Pepper and Sally escape an orphanage after their sister didn’t even want to take care of them (that’s a hint of something to come I believe). Now these people dare to question her loyalty?
Everyone bows and scrapes and tries to apologize to Elsa for their accusations.
She’s not accepting apologies today. In fact, the only way Elsa will be satisfied is if one of the freak show folk hops up on the wheel of death and allows her to toss knives at them. That would be a true sign of trust. So Jimmy volunteers, but Paul stops him — “it should be me” he says before getting strapped to the wheel where Elsa will prove his loyalty by tossing knives at him while spinning upside down and back again. Because that makes total sense!
Time for a Payday
Stanley’s getting a little tired of Maggie dragging her feet to bring him a specimen for the Morbidity Museum so he insists on chopping Jimmy’s lobster hands off immediately so they can score a payday. Maggie is crushing on Jimmy so he can’t be the one. She offers instead to bring him little Ma Petit, who will fit very nicely in a big ass jar that they can fill with formaldehyde to preserve the tiny lady until he can ship her to Philadelphia and the museum.
Maggie wakes up the little person on Earth and promises to take her to a barn where she has a surprise waiting for her. Maggie gets as far as putting the little lady inside the jar where she begins to pretends she’s a butterfly, which is just so cute and heartbreaking at the same time.
Thankfully the next morning despite some frantic worry that Ma Petit disappeared, Maggie comes walking back up to the carnival with the tiny woman still in her arms and still very much alive. She hands her off so she can go get breakfast (her favorite meal of the day!) while Maggie grabs Jimmy and asks if he’ll run away with her right now and forever. Now isn’t the right time he says, but a big kiss from Maggie might convince him otherwise.
Stanley sees that Maggie didn’t do her job and now he’s furious. She needs to deliver something to him ASAP or heads will roll. Maybe even hers.
Back at the freak show, Elsa has Paul all tied up and ready to go on the wheel when she grabs her instruments of death. She tosses the first one and it lands a few inches away from his cheek, but he’s still safe. The second lands directly between his legs, but again he’s still safe. There’s just something about that third knife that she just can’t get right! The final one goes right into Paul’s belly.
They quickly pull him off the wheel, remove the knife (bad move) and try to stop the bleeding. Elsa goes to call for help (no she doesn’t) as Paul clings to life. At least he has one person who cares about him because Penny defies her shotgun toting father and leaves the house to go be with him. Sadly when she arrives, Paul’s already in bad shape and getting worse as he waits for a doctor to come help him (he’s never coming).
The next morning Ethel is finishing up Elsa’s cake because why the hell not? Jimmy isn’t happy because he sees that Elsa really was the monster that Paul accused her to be and his eyes are finally wide open. He has to go find those twins before something bad happens to them. Meanwhile, Ethel serves up a piece of cake to Elsa because the birthday girl has to at least have a slab of her own cake.
Elsa and Ethel converse and come to a mutual understanding, but not before one final threat gets levied. Ethel tells her boss that if anything foul has happened to those twins, she’s going to visit the same kind of fate on her.
Back at Dandy’s, he’s trying to get closer with the Tattler sisters by playing a game with them. Truth or truth! In other words he wants to tell them a secret and in return they’ll tell him one of their own. Dandy decides to divulge the fact that he was at the trailer the night Twisty the Clown met his demise. As a matter of fact, he was the one who dispatched the killer clown while Jimmy the Lobster Boy was passed out on the ground. In some ways he’s actually telling the truth, but Dot calls bullshit. No way he did it. Jimmy was the savior and the person the town declared a hero.
Dandy is pissed. Not only will Dot not tell him a secret, but now she’s accusing him of lying as well. To make matters worse, the twins won’t allow him to read their diaries where they keep their best secrets anyways. So with the twins outdoors, Dandy decides to have a peak at what they’ve been writing while he’s out buying hair brushes for the twins.
To his dismay, Dot isn’t into Dandy at all. She finds him a bore and basically intolerable, but she’s sticking around for the money. She gets paid $10 every time she laughs at one of his non-funny jokes so if she keeps this up, eventually she’ll have enough cash to pay for the surgery to get rid of the other sister all together.
Dandy is devastated. All he wanted was to love these girls and they can’t even have the decency to love him back. That’s it. This love thing is shit. Dandy now knows that he’s meant to walk this Earth alone and the only joy he’ll ever experience is killing people because that’s the only other alternative?
“I know why I was put her, Mother. My purpose is to bring death”
~ Dandy Mott
I’ll give him this — while Dandy is an insufferable little ass when he’s in spoiled brat mode, he can deliver a chilling line like nobody’s business.
Moments later Jimmy shows up at the front door asking to speak to his buddy Dandy. Gloria refuses him, but Dandy says to go ahead and let him in. He’s here for the twins. This could end with Jimmy leaving the house with the twins bound back for the freak show or all three of them getting buried in the back garden next to Dora.
The only way to know for sure is to tune into American Horror Story: Freak Show next Wednesday night at 10pm ET on FX.