In the latest Scream Queens recap, Chanel celebrates her favorite holiday while more secrets are revealed about the baby born in Kappa house 20 years ago….
By Damon Martin — Editor/Lead Writer
Ryan Murphy knows how to do Halloween.
The creator behind American Horror Story always puts a little extra effort into the stories surrounding Halloween and with a trio of episodes upcoming on Scream Queens, expect nothing less from the freshman scare fare.
The first episode titled ‘Haunted House’ actually celebrated an even more storied holiday around Wallace University and Chanel Oberlin’s 700-plus Instagram followers. It’s called Chanel-O-Ween and it’s the time of year when the president of Kappa Kappa Tau can write personalized cards to her fans and send them severed legs and razor blade apples to hopefully improve their dumpy lives for at least a day.
Chanel-O-Ween or as some weirdos call it ‘Halloween’ is after all the one time of year you can terrify children and not be branded as a psychopath!
Chanel cares so much she even allows her pledge class and sorority sisters to carve pumpkins to send out to the hordes of fans who just can’t wait for this beloved day of the year. Chanel really understands the gift of giving and what better time to do it than everyone’s favorite holiday — Chanel-O-Ween!
With that said, let’s recap the latest episode of Scream Queens titled ‘Haunted House’:
Not a Problem
Following Grace’s father Wes nearly getting filleted by the Red Devil Killer, police are investigating the break in at Kappa house and he’s pointing the finger squarely at Dean Cathy Munsch for committing these murders. She denies everything and based on the timeline it would have taken her to get out of her bedroom, into costume and back upstairs again would require a lot of nimble moves and some really quick wardrobe changes.
The police aren’t buying it — especially considering Munsch has been a stalwart of this campus for the past 30 years. Wes and Gigi are still suspicious but without the cops on board to investigate further, this alleged crime is going to go unsolved for now. Denise does show up and manage to inform everyone that another near murder happened on campus after one of the Dickie Dollar Scholars had his arms lopped off by a Red Devil with a chainsaw.
Pete and Grace are hot on the trail of former Kappa sister Mandy, who is the only person they were able to track down who might have been at the house the night that one of the sisters died and her baby disappeared before everybody chipped in to hide the body. They show up dressed as Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days presumably as an homage to Oliver Hudson (who plays Grace’s father and is Kate Hudson’s real life brother) and as an excuse to allow Diego Boneta a chance to do his best McConaughey impression (and he’s pretty good).
Once they are inside, Mandy reveals what happened that night at Kappa house.
Following the sister’s death (and they never bother to ask her name by the way), Munsch and Ms. Bean try to come up with a way to cover this up so no one gets in trouble. Ms. Bean is ready to chop up the body and serve it back to the sorority as sausages, but Munsch decides disposing of the body is a better idea.
So she forces the sisters (including Mandy) to put on hoods and bury the body in the woods. The hoods go back on so the sisters can’t tell where the body is buried and Munsch instructs them to leave school the next day and never return. Mandy says the sisters all quit school, changed their names and moved on — although she heard one of them committed suicide while another is currently a top anchor at FOX News.
As for Mandy, she got away but now lives in a crummy trailer by the woods where she cooks up roadkill armadillo for breakfast. To make things even more suspicious, Mandy gives them a chilling account of the kind of person they are dealing with in Dean Munsch.
“Munsch put the fear of God into us that night. She’s the devil that one. The darkness.”
She does manage to drop one more nugget on Pete and Grace before the go — the baby born that night was a little girl!
So that destroys Grace’s theory that the killer is Chad Radwell aka baby all grown up looking for revenge, but now she’s even more convinced that she might be the child. She did grow up without a mother after all and her father never says much about her.
Grace confronts her father, who is worried she might be on bath salts, but he denies that his daughter is the baby born in Kappa house. Grace doesn’t quite believe him but promises that if he’s lying to her, they are going to have a really big problem!
Unfortunately for Mandy, the arrival and departure of Pete and Grace also marked her end because the Red Devil killer shows up and kills her just minutes after the college couple left.
Zayday for President
On the heels of sending out presents for Chanel-O-Ween, Zayday tells Chanel some bad news — she’s going to run for Kappa house president so she better watch her back because there’s a new queen in town. Zayday has backing from a few of her sisters as well as urging from British Dickie Dollar Scholar Earl Grey, who told her that she’s the future of Kappa house and she can win the presidency if she goes after Chanel the right way.
The right way is throwing a haunted house Halloween party with all the proceeds benefitting sickle cell anemia. Chanel is wrought with despair after this revelation — so much so that she’s up at 3am sharpening knives out of frustration and anger that Zayday might boot her from her throne and that hasn’t happened in over 150 years at Kappa that a sitting president is ousted by a freshman.
Thanks to some strategizing with Chanel’s No. 3 and 5, Chanel No. 1 decides to throw her own party in a haunted pumpkin patch to benefit black hairy tongue (it’s real, look it up at your own risk).
Dead Bodies Everywhere
Later that night at the graveyard as Chad is about to get his jerk on overtop of a grave, Hester shows up and informs him that she’s very turned on by the thought of dead bodies and also wants everything that belongs to Chanel and that includes him.
But Hester isn’t going to give up the goods that easy despite Chad’s chubby that’s popping through his pants. If they are going to have sex, it has to take place at a truly creepy and disturbing place so Chad needs to wait by his phone and if the text message comes through with an address, show up and get ready to bone!
Meanwhile, Pete tells Grace to meet him at a mysterious haunted house at 53 Shady Lane after he did a little more digging into the death of that sister back in 1995. Before he can say much of anything, Zayday and Earl Grey pop up and surprise them because this is the perfect house for her fundraiser. Another interruption comes from Denise Hemphill, who just like Pete, has found out some interesting information about this house.
The house is apparently haunted by an old hag, who was heard moaning and wailing about her dead children. Eventually, some teenagers broke into the house to find out if the legend was true and while they didn’t find ‘the Hag of Shady Lane’, they did find a room filled to the brim with baby dolls all in a creepy circle.
As an interesting side note — it seems Denise Hemphill was also a pledge hopeful at Kappa house back in 1988 but because of racist sisters, she wasn’t allowed to join and instead dropped out of school all together. Where was Denise Hemphill in 1995?
Denise isn’t buying that story but she’s still convinced that Zayday is the murderer and she’s keeping an eye on the Kappa presidential hopeful.
That same night, Chad and Hester both get texts to meet at the same creepy house two hours ahead of Zayday’s party. They assume the texts came from each other, but instead it’s a mystery third party.
Inside, Hester wants to find the creepiest place to bone Chad and she finds the spot when she sees Ms. Bean’s dead body laid out on a bed in one of the rooms. She thinks it’s a fake until she touches the leg and gravy literally pours out (ewwww!). Just then Chad backs into a hideaway bed and when it falls to the ground, Best Buy security guard Shondel falls out as well.
Chad and Hester panic and make a run for it but on the way out they find all the other missing bodies including poor Coney, Mandy and Chanel No. 2.
They go to the coffee shop to regroup and think about what to do next. Chad and Hester both decide that they need to warn everyone to stay away from that party, but telling people not to go only fuels them to go even more.
Missing in Action
Back at the party that night, Grace and the others show up and are told that there are realistic dead bodies littered throughout the house. When they begin to investigate, the group figures out that the bodies aren’t fake and instead it’s all the missing dead people who have been killed over the past few weeks but were never found.
Grace and the others tell everyone to clear out of the house, but the students think this is just a really cool Halloween party. In the midst of the madness, Zayday takes a wrong turn and runs directly into the Red Devil Killer, but he doesn’t stab her to death or even try. Instead, Zayday gets kidnapped and put into a man made prison wherever the Red Devil killer is hiding.
Grace tries to convince everyone at Kappa house that they need to go search for Zayday, but Chanel certainly isn’t worried about her — especially considering she was about to run against her in the sorority president vote. The cops aren’t even all that helpful after Dean Munsch manages to convince them that none of these murders are really even related to the school — Ms. Bean, Shondel and Mandy definitely weren’t students and the authorities aren’t convinced Coney and Chanel No. 2’s murders are connected.
Grace is frustrated at this turn of events but she does manage to get a little more information on ‘the Hag on Shady Lane’. It seems the moaning and wailing started about a month after the baby would have been born in Kappa House and as the camera pans through the old broken down structure, the woman shrouded in darkness is finally revealed and it’s Gigi!
The woman perpetually stuck in 90’s is seemingly locked in 1995 forever. Specifically, the night where a Kappa sister died giving birth and her death was covered up and no one seemed to care much about it. Gigi is stuck in that moment, but was she the baby’s mother or just another sister, who vowed to take care of the baby? Either way she is another clue for another day when Scream Queens returns in one week’s time!
BEST LINES OF THE WEEK:
“Halloween is the most important day of the year. It’s the one day on the Gregorian calendar where you’re allowed to go around terrifying children and not be branded a psychopath.”
“A lot of my fans are like friendless dumpy co-eds at this or that nursing school in one of this country’s various national armpits. And Chanel-o-ween is the one time of year where I give these precious donkeys something to look forward to.”
“They put down their hot pockets and bask in the warm glow of what it feels like to love me.”
“Heather — I hope this severed leg brightens up your trailer park.”
“This golf frat douchebag got his arms chopped off by a chainsaw.”
“I just think our generation’s had it too easy. We haven’t seen enough horrible stuff. There’s no awesome diseases randomly killing people. Not really any awesome wars to go off to and witness horrific things you can’t unsee or they pulled out of all of them.”
“Which one of you ladies would like to be my costume for Halloween? I’m going as dude having awesome sex with you!”
“Hey! That’s my sister and she’s no bitch — but I am!”
“So little awkward since we’re about to bone down and everything but what’s your name?”
SOUNDTRACK FOR THIS WEEK
“Mad About You” by Belinda Carlisle (while the Chanels are kicking the shit out of the douchey frat boy)
“Eyes Without a Face” by Billy Idol (playing at the party)
Tune in next Tuesday night for another new episode of Scream Queens as the Halloween saga continues!